survival

 december 3rd, 2022 thought the alarm would wake me up at 5 am, missed it 3 times, finally woke up at 8:30, last night had a dream in where angela white was giving me a head, later she wanted me to cum inside her, but i just woke up right then and it was 3 am in the morning, thankfully the nightfall didnt happen, even though i really wanted to cum inside her was feeling like masturbating, did 45 mins of workout and the lust feeling is gone now the study time coudnt complete the math though, a few part of jacobians are hard, couldve studied something else there but this mf arnab came to my room wanting me to fix his vscode, mf didnt even install gcc compiler, fixed it took a bath, went to have lunch with sanaul and arnab, bro trina mondal also have a boyfriend just saw them idk who that guy was, prolly a senior came back to room, took rest and its study time

 december 2nd, 2022 woke up at 7 maybe i dont remember, was very tensed about syllabus which is currently unfinished, mf this rani bicth had to call me in this early morning and ask me to do favour which is helping her settle her nonsense drama with her stranger boyfriend again???? mf i aint doing this shit no more, gotta keep distance with such bitches, the stranger boyfriend ghosted her tho dad sent 1000 in googlepay completed a chapter of math and it feels so good, thought i'd be completing rest of the syllabus but coudnt as i am a slow learner and it takes time arup came to my room at 11:38 am and asked me to go with him to eat kochuri!!!! mf it's almost 12, where are we supposed to get kochuris in this late hours????? did my excersize and i feel confident, choose not to cut my hairs they dont look so bad, took a bath went to central canteen BU for lunch with arup, arnab, dodo later sanaul and ajit joined, oh boy the crowd in there, would have to wait a couple of hours to g...

  december 1st 2022 woke up at 8 am, thought the alarm would wake me up at 6 but it did not.  first aim was to workout atleast for 30 mins and i did or i would have just killed myself, the thoughts of killing myself has increased a bit more than as usual. good thing is i didnt masturbate from last night, working out is affecting in my confidence, i somehow able gather confidence to attend college today and it was not pretty bad RD maam almost got the whole class suspended, aditya ghosh did pretty well in missbehaving with her, yogesh was also part of that. she made thw whole class confront to CSE 3rd sem faculty, they changed the CRs, piyali and subham koner is replaced by madhumita and subhadip as new CR. SS got mad at matlab class idk why, tathagata and sudipto found out bikash liked swagata who also happened to be sudipto's girlfriend. bikash is sad i think. went home at 6:40 maybe, talked to rani as she got a new boyfriend, i dont like talking to her, i will be avoidi...